Friday, December 16, 2011

10 Tell-Tale Signs You're a Horror Writer

10 Tell-Tale Signs You’re a Horror Writer
By Nomar Knight

Here’s a possible blueprint for those youngsters wondering if they are future horror writers or just plain weird. 

10.  A classmate vomits and while everyone is busy gagging and saying “Yuck!” in your mind you’re picturing the kid spit out his organs and actually find yourself hoping for the worst.

9.  On your way to school you witness a man get hit by a car and as he’s being put into the ambulance, you wonder if he’ll end up as food for cannibals.

8.  Every time you go to a cemetery you keep envisioning graves opening from the ground and zombies rising to feed on the living.

7.  In your imaginary world, a Chihuahua can swallow Cujo whole.

6.  You avoid mowing the lawn at all costs because you could have sworn the neighbor’s cat was captured by a large creature with talons.

5.  When you get bullied at school you think up of new ways to torture the offenders.

4.  A walk through the woods to grandma’s house ends with you turning into a werewolf and feasting on your annoying little brother.

3.  You throw a fit when your mother wakes you from a nightmare so you won’t be late for school.

2.  As far as you’re concerned, you never drink fruit punch.  It’s blood, damn it!

1.  And the number one reason you know you are a horror writer…nothing makes you happier than hearing girls scream which explains why your pockets are filled with spiders and other creepy crawly creatures. 

©2011 Nomar Knight. All rights reserved.

1 comment:

  1. #1 reminds me of the old tune with the words, I don't like spiders and snakes and that ain't what it takes to love me, like I wanna be loved by you.

    Silly girls!

    Great post, my friend!