The sun threatens to break through angry, gray clouds. While I’m on my back, I stare up at the sky, admiring the Creator’s artistic display and pray for a semblance of holy revelation. A quick glimpse at my feet reveals a chaotic formation of purple blotches on my aching legs. With each simple movement I attempt, painful electrical impulses shoot throughout my naked, feminine body. I rise and grimace with the realization my legs must carry humanity’s heaviest burden. I almost jump for joy but the pain in maintaining my balance bathes me with perspiration. My lungs fill with gobs of air, drowning me with a new welcomed affliction. I raise my bloody right hand and shield my eyes as glorious rays beam down from Heaven.
“I did it!” I wince as friction strains my throat. Then a cold breeze brushes my amber tresses and as if by magic, it whispers in my ears: Water, you need water to survive. At last the sun’s warmth coats me with hope. A few white feathers float towards an oasis that waits in the middle of barren land.
Once again I look up and smile, “Thank you my Lord.”
My first step as a woman comes with pain. The fall from heaven still hurting; I grimace, stumble and crash face first on the sand. Determined to survive, I drag my body over rocks to an oasis and sip the essence of life. I am an Angel no more.
245 words
this piece has a cool futuristic and surreal feel to it. i like how you wrote it from a different gender perspective too. nice.
ReplyDeleteThank you Sir for the kind words. I appreciate it. :-)
ReplyDeleteMichael is right. A surrealist and 'otherworldly' feel to the story. Nice descriptions of the angel getting used to his mortal female body. Great job, Nomar.
ReplyDeleteYou should log this on the Mad Utopia database of #fridayflash stories and get more readers coming through. You can log it in at...
http://www.jmstrother.com/tiki-view_tracker.php?trackerId=2&sort_mode=f_13_asc&status=o
Click on 'insert new item' and fill in the information. Tick box showing you are 'debut' author. Only takes a couple of minutes.
Thanks for the tip and the kind comments Alan. And thanks for sharing your Friday Flash; it was excellent!
ReplyDeleteWelcome to #fridayflash!
ReplyDeleteNice piece, lovely description. Well done!
Nice debut. Love how she has to get used to life, with all its struggles. Each day, a new learning experience.
ReplyDeleteWelcome to #FridayFlash.
~jon
Hello Gracie and J.M. Strother, I appreciate the kind comments. Thank you for welcoming me into your talented circle.
ReplyDeleteHey Nomar: enjoyed your story. It reminded me of the classic story of the mermaid, who became a real woman but felt like she was walking on knives with every step. I imagine angels might feel the same.
ReplyDeleteWelcome to fridayflash!
Thank you Cathy. I appreciate you taking the time to write a kind comment my way. Take care.
ReplyDelete