Friday, March 11, 2011

Curse for the Spammer/Scammer

Curse for the Spammer/Scammer


Curse for the Spammer/Scammer
By Nomar Knight

            Readers beware! Scammers lurk everywhere.  While some people may enjoy attention or receiving correspondence, I’m always on the lookout for an entertaining read.  Sometimes I don’t have to go far to get it.  Sometimes entertainment comes to me, directly in the Spam section of my email account. 
            Here are a few examples of a disturbing trend for scammers.  
To whom it may concern  (Now there’s a personal salutation if I ever read one.)
From Exxon-Mobil Oil & Gas Company (I don’t know about you, but aren’t oil barrens money hungry? So why contact little old me?)
The letter was sent via the United Kingdom. 
Dear Exxon-Mobil Lucky Winner!

This is to officially notify you that your email Won a consolation prize on the ( EML ) INTERNATIONAL EMAIL DRAW held 26th February,2011. Your email has won you £1,500,000.00 Great British Pounds Sterling.
How about that?  I won another contest without entering.  If only I could win a valid State lottery when I do enter… and all I have to do to collect the prize is to send them my personal information.  Sounds easy, right? 
But here’s the thing.  Greedy corporations are in business to make money, not give it away.  And so are spammers.  In case anyone receives something like this they should ask themselves, why would anyone want to give away a small fortune for nothing?  Let’s look at the closing of this letter and remember the British invented the English language. 
Congratulation as your spend your great fortune.

Best Wishers
The least a spammer/scammer can do is take pride in his work.  If you’re going to pose as an Englishman, learn the language. 
Here are some titles of other scam/spam emails I’ve received. 
Urgent Business Proposal  (Urgent for who?)
Attention to email id owner (id? Is this addressed to Sigmund Freud?)
Confidence Trust and Honest (I start all my letters the same way.)
I AM WAITING FOR YOUR URGENT REPLY (And you’ll keep waiting and waiting…)
Check out my photos! (Though these promise to be visually entertaining, why bother?)
Please I need your help (You need help alright.)
Dearest one (I’m glad somebody out there finds me appealing.)
READ carefully/REPLY URGENT  (Notice how carefully is not in caps. Hmm.)

Too bad most of these scamming spam emails come from a foreign country.  As a result, they are out of reach of the hands of justice.  Since I don’t anticipate the international community cracking down on these low-lives, I’ve decided to take matters into my own hands. 
From this day forward, anyone that sends me or any of my friends spam with the sole intent of perpetrating a malicious scam, I hereby curse you!  May any currency that reaches you slip through your grasp like water and may you meet your demise after being exposed as a fraud.
That ought to do it!  I hope my Warlock skills aren’t rusty. 
Knight Chills readers, please don’t let economic desperation taint your judgment. 
Oh well, it’s time for me to check my email.  Ha, wouldn’t you know it, there’s another one.

Shedding a little light on the darkest part of emails. 

Nomar Knight

© Copyright Nomar Knight 2011. All rights reserved.

1 comment:

  1. Oh yes. Or they unearthed some fortune. Some dude keeps wanting me to help him publish his book. Why would I want to give him money to publish his book?

    Then there are the ones posing as the IRS or a bank.