Kids Can Be Funny Too

Kids Can Be Funny Too


It’s been awhile since we’ve had a laugh here at Knight Chills so I thought I’d share a couple of emails from the past.

Kids   Are   Quick
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TEACHER:  Maria, go to the map and find North America.

MARIA:  Here it is.

TEACHER:  Correct.  Now class, who discovered America? 

CLASS: Maria.

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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? 

JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell crocodile?

GLENN:  K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L

TEACHER:  No, that's wrong.

GLENN:  Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

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TEACHER:  Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD:  H I J K L M N O. 

TEACHER:  What are you talking about?

DONALD:  Yesterday you said it's H to O.

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TEACHER:  Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.

WINNIE: Me!

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TEACHER:  Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

GLEN:  Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

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TEACHER:  Millie, give me a sentence starting with I.

MILLIE: I is…

TEACHER:  No, Millie... Always say, I am.

MILLIE:  All right.  I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

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TEACHER:  George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.  Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?

LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.

(This kid is definitely a future horror writer).
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TEACHER:  Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON:  No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
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TEACHER:   Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? 

HAROLD: A teacher.

 Were you as bad as the next two kids? I was probably worse. 




A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom.
"You know what?" says the 6 year old.  "I think it’s about time we started Cussing."

The 4 year old nods his head in approval.

The 6 year old continues "when we go downstairs for breakfast, I’m gonna say something with 'hell' and you say something with 'ass'."

The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.

When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."

WHACK!


He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step.

His mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You can stay there until I let you out!”

She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"

"I don't know,” he blubbers, “but you can bet your fat ass it won't be Cheerios!"

Keeping it light! Take care, friends. 

Brought to you by friends of Nomar Knight. 

Dream On!

Dream On!

There was this boy who woke up one night with a nightmare. He cries, “Mummy, Mummy!” His mother came rushing into the bedroom and the boy told her that he had a dream that Grandma died. So a week later, his Grandma died.

The boy woke up another night screaming and he told his mother that he dreamt that Grandpa died. Strangely enough, a week later Grandpa died. The boy woke up yet another night screaming that he had a nightmare in which his father died.

The mother told the father and he became very cautious. He watched his health and treated his body excellently. So a week passed and the postman died.

Sophie went to see a psychiatrist about her husband.

"Doctor, My husband has this problem. Almost every night now he's dreaming he's a refrigerator!"

"My dear, that is not really a problem! A lot of people dream that they are somebody or something unusual..."

Sophie leans forward as she softly whispers this confidence: "But you see doctor it is also a problem for me! Jake sleeps with his mouth open and the light keeps me awake!"

A distraught man goes to see a psychologist. How may I help you?  The doctor asks, "Doc, every night, I have the same dream. I'm lying in bed and a dozen women walk in and try to rip my clothes off and have wild sex with me."

"And then what do you do?" the shrink asks. 

"I push them away," the man says. 

"Then what do you want me to do?" the shrink asks. 

"Break my arms!"

Dream Come True

Three dreams of a man:


To be as handsome as his mother thinks.
To be as rich as his child believes.
To have as many women as his wife suspects…

FAT CHANCE!

Catch you on the dark side.

Nomar Knight

©2011 Nomar Knight. All rights reserved.

A Knight Chills Presentation.