Kids Can Be Funny Too

Kids Can Be Funny Too


It’s been awhile since we’ve had a laugh here at Knight Chills so I thought I’d share a couple of emails from the past.

Kids   Are   Quick
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TEACHER:  Maria, go to the map and find North America.

MARIA:  Here it is.

TEACHER:  Correct.  Now class, who discovered America? 

CLASS: Maria.

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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? 

JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell crocodile?

GLENN:  K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L

TEACHER:  No, that's wrong.

GLENN:  Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

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TEACHER:  Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD:  H I J K L M N O. 

TEACHER:  What are you talking about?

DONALD:  Yesterday you said it's H to O.

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TEACHER:  Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.

WINNIE: Me!

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TEACHER:  Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

GLEN:  Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

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TEACHER:  Millie, give me a sentence starting with I.

MILLIE: I is…

TEACHER:  No, Millie... Always say, I am.

MILLIE:  All right.  I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

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TEACHER:  George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.  Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?

LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.

(This kid is definitely a future horror writer).
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TEACHER:  Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON:  No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
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TEACHER:   Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? 

HAROLD: A teacher.

 Were you as bad as the next two kids? I was probably worse. 




A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom.
"You know what?" says the 6 year old.  "I think it’s about time we started Cussing."

The 4 year old nods his head in approval.

The 6 year old continues "when we go downstairs for breakfast, I’m gonna say something with 'hell' and you say something with 'ass'."

The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.

When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."

WHACK!


He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step.

His mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You can stay there until I let you out!”

She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"

"I don't know,” he blubbers, “but you can bet your fat ass it won't be Cheerios!"

Keeping it light! Take care, friends. 

Brought to you by friends of Nomar Knight. 

Eaten Alive

Eaten Alive

I’ve been through the hell a number of times, watching a loved one as he slowly withers away until he becomes unrecognizable.  I understand that we’re not really from this planet.  I know this is all temporary, but what can I do to ease his suffering?

I first witnessed the horror of cancer as it destroyed my father.  I’d read stories of a carpenter with the power to heal upon a simple touch, or with his word alone, and they have always remained in my thoughts.  I’d sit by his side and wish…if only I could make the disease go away.  If only I could make it so he could smile again.

These days I haven’t been able to write.  My mind has been consumed with thoughts of my uncle who is battling colon cancer.  Doctors said there’s nothing anyone could do.  On Saturday I took him his last wish, lasagna, I had made especially for him.  He ate some, at first eagerly, and then the realization that he couldn’t consume solids slowed him down until all he could do was cradle the small plate.  He’s a Korean War veteran and he’s finally beginning to lose the fight in him.

That Saturday, I felt her, his primary escort to the other side.  She was waiting for him.  Tonight, I heard that he kept asking his son who the woman was.  No one had introduced her to him because he was the only one who could see her.  He also kept staring at the ceiling, looking at the pretty white light.

I don’t know how much longer my uncle has left, but I’m grateful to have shared such an intimate moment with him.

Goodbye, Uncle Ernest, she’s waiting for you.  Your mother, my grandma, is waiting to take you home.

Sometimes the dark side catches us.

Nomar Knight

Hidden Gems Revealed at The Digital Ink Spot

Hidden Gems Revealed at The Digital Ink Spot


If you're looking to find that hot, new author that will provide quality entertainment, but you're not keen on spending top author money to buy the eBook, then I suggest you head on over to The Digital Ink Spot.  This fantastic blog is updated frequently and features interviews and links to new works that are either free or low priced without charging authors anything.  


Here's a link to my short interview at The Digital Ink Spot here.  They featured my book, Burning Love when it was free.  


After you stop buy and purchase my book, dirt cheap, browse The Digital Ink Spot here to find that gem and start enjoying quality entertainment.  


Happy hunting! 


Catch you on the dark side! 


Nomar Knight

When Darkness Comes

When Darkness Comes  

By Nomar Knight

Laughter dies at sundown

Leaves rustle around

A quiet celebration drums

When darkness comes

Amidst the drool and grime

Evil relishes its time

In a starless night

Lurks the thief of light

Creatures rise from tombs

Apocalyptic winds loom

Talons replace thumbs

When darkness comes

With hunger in their eyes

Someone always dies

Faced with flee or fight

Fear adds to their plight

No use being brave

When it's blood they crave

Havens become slums

When darkness comes

For when they smell prey

Doesn't pay to stay

Nothing is alright

Must survive till light

Hurry run and win

Darkness can't hide sin

Forget the shakes and runs

When darkness comes

Too late to show remorse

Have to stay the course

Mustn't lose sight

Death will make things right

Next time make sure

Who you kill is pure

Immortals hide as bums

When darkness comes

True evil never dies

Don't believe the lies

Must survive the night

Or never again see light

©2012 Nomar Knight. All rights reserved.

A Knight Chills Poem.

Fiction: Common Story Mistakes by Joy Cagil

Hello Knight Chills readers! Welcome to a new year! We start 2012 with a my first guest blogger, talented author, Joy Cagil.  The veteran author kicks off the year for us with one of her writing articles which I understand can be a huge help to writers of all levels.  Without further ado, here's Joy Cagil.

Fiction: Common Story Mistakes
by Joy Cagil

True writing is revising and rewriting. A writer needs to revise and rewrite to discern the subtle tones inside his story and to offer them to the readers with greater depth. 

         Most of us are excited while writing that first draft, but when it comes to revision, we may lose the enthusiasm. Yet, an experienced story teller finds great satisfaction in rewriting and reconstructing his story, because he knows his finished product can even excel his expectations.

         John Irving, the author of inimitable books such as The World According to Garp, Cider House Rules, and The Fourth Hand, said: "More than a half, maybe as much as two-thirds, of my life as a writer is rewriting. I wouldn't say I have a talent that's special. It strikes me that I have an unusual kind of stamina." 

         The first rewrite should include further story refinement and structural changes than what was included in the first draft. After that, at least two revisions may be needed before the final polishing.

         The biggest mistake a writer usually makes is in not being able to find out the best place or time for the story to begin. If the writer rambles on and on without concentrating on the real beginning, the story becomes a flop right at the start. This happens because the best starting point for a story is difficult to ascertain when the writer is writing the first draft. The second rewrite should give the writer a better idea on this problem.

         Although there are many ways of starting a story, the real story begins with the main character's first defining moment of conflict, which also identifies the story's premise. This moment is called the inciting incident. This moment needs to occur almost immediately or within somewhere in the first few pages of a novel. In a short story, it has to come in the first few paragraphs. 

         State of mind of the character or his inner world is the second beware sign for any writer. The writer has to know the inner world of the character to its finest detail to create insight into the story. When insight happens, the reader gets involved in the story. Even if the story takes place in an exciting and constantly changing outer world, the character's reaction to it will be through his unremitting inner conflict. This continuous inner conflict will be the most important thing for the writer to master.

         Missing an element of a story--such as a moral dilemma or hesitation between two possibilities--will lower the quality of the story, even if the idea is great and the character has a powerful incentive.

         Missing story points is another problem. Major story points reveal the emotional story that makes the reader identify with the character. Story points are established through the central conflict, secondary characters, and subplots. When some of those are missing, the story has to be missing something also.

         Not building toward the climax or crowding out the story is another problem. Unless you are writing a mystery and you want to throw in a red herring, unnecessary scenes and false steps arrest the enjoyment of the reader and do not let the emotional story to make its powerful impact.

         Not developing the antagonist well enough or underwriting him is another problem. A completely original main character is great, but the antagonist should equal him in star quality to create a gripping story.

         A good tip is, when you are blocked but want to work on the story anyhow, you might as well work on its construction. Here are a few suggestions to get a writer back on track:

         1. Work on your main character. Include his needs, motivation, and subconscious. For practice, write side stories including this character. If you already did this, experiment with point of view changes. Changing the point of view may bring a fresh insight into the story.

         2. Do not waver from the most important plot points for the action of the story, once they are set.

         3. Improve upon key story points that reveal what the story's theme is about. 

         4. Develop potential plot points and think of linking them in proper places inside the story. 

         5. Establish the moral dilemma inside the main character. Create or enhance his flaw. Create conflict. Create solutions that are character driven. Also, work on his backstory to give depth to his character.

         6. Check over again the already assembled plot points. Throw out the ones that seem to wander away. See if you can come up with things more unique and original. 

          When asked by an editor or a reviewer to revise or rewrite a story, a serious writer should never take it as an insult. Rewrites and revisions are for making the story stronger and accomplishing the writer's story goals. If writers remember this, their stories will not go wrong.



© Copyright 2012 Joy Cagil. All rights reserved.


Joy Cagil has granted Knight Chills, non-exclusive rights to display this work.