Thursday, January 8, 2015

The Birth of a Serial Killer

The Birth of a Serial Killer
by Nomar Knight

There's a 21 day junk food challenge going around. I saw one lady who managed to lose a whopping six pounds in three weeks. Um, I don't believe in diets. Here's a list of what you can't eat during the 21 days of hell:

No chocolate (I'm a chocoholic. Why on earth would I want to deprive myself of pleasure)?

No candy (Okay, I'm an older person, um, I mean a big boy).

No biscuits or cookies (I've stayed away though recently melted over chocolate chip cookies).

No cakes, donuts, or muffins. (Shoot me already)!!!!

No pastries (Pretty good at staying away but I am weak).

No white bread  (I switched to wheat, turned out that's worse for me). (Loads the gun).

No chips  (For goodness sake)!!

No fast food (Been doing a great job at staying away from those poisonous places).

No soda. (Ha! I rarely drink the stuff).

No ice cream  (Puts the loaded gun to my head).

It seems to me I would have to sacrifice too much in order to lose a measly six pounds. I could lose the same thing eating healthy alternatives a few times a day and light jogging three days a week. In fact, I had lost 14 pounds in a month in a half with exercise and a change in eating habits. Packed it all back in though when I injured my heel. Now it's back to the drawing board. My foot's much improved. 

As a writer, I love to speculate. This is what I think would happen if I tried this 21 day no junk food challenge. 

1. Assuming I could go so long without chocolate, I'm sure that I would become a serial killer. 
2. No candy means I wouldn't be able to get closer to my targets, (child molesters) at the local candy stores. 
3. No biscuits or cookies means limited time to flirt with little old ladies. 
4. No cakes, donuts, or muffins means I wouldn't see my police officer friends anymore. Well, there's always the bar. 
5. As for the rest of the list, I'm sure my list of victims would grow to politicians and spousal abusers. 

So should I try this dumb challenge? 

Nah, I'll pass thank you. Would you try the challenge? Have you tried this challenge? I'd like to know your results. 

Catch you on the dark side.

Nomar Knight

© Copyright Nomar Knight 2015. All rights reserved.
A Knight Chills Presentation.

1 comment:

  1. I am currently at the end of this challenge. It is just that - a challenge. It should not be used as a fad diet. Diets are temporary. You should make eating healthy and everyday way of life. That being said, participating in the challenge is just a way of making eating healthy a little more fun by challenging your brain to do without a few items. You shouldn't do the challenge by yourself. It should be done as a group. When you do it as a group you check in daily, give your highs and lows, hold each other accountable and offer each other support. I have not lost any major weight while doing this challenge, mostly because I was already eating healthy before I started it. What I have found is that I'm not feeling bloated. The challenge is a great way of cleaning your body, which it needs every so often. Have I been 100% true to the challenge? Absolutely not. I've had a piece of chocolate once or twice. And that's ok because I get right back on the wagon and continue on. I don't punish myself. Has this challenge changed my life in any way? Absolutely not. It's not meant to.